You Can't Sit With Us

        

              When I came to college last year in the fall I was not expecting to be hit with as much sexism as I was. After my first semester it became clear to me that I had been a little blind in high school to the insane amount of sexism that surrounds me and my peers every day. I say a little because I did notice how it felt to be a woman but I never put a name or definition to how I was feeling and my beliefs until I came to college. When I came to college is when I started to realize that I am a feminist. I took Intro to Woman’s Studies with our very own B-Shaw and fell in love with the feminist movement and Woman’s Studies. After my first semester in that class I decided to make Woman’s Studies my minor and after that first semester I also had to go home to Seattle for winter break. During winter break is when I had to answer all the family questions about college and the most common asked question was “What is your major and minor?”. I proudly would answer Psychology Major and Woman’s Studies Minor to which I received awkward laughs and rude jokes after I would give a brief explanation of what Woman’s Studies is all about. My cousin Taylor, a recent graduate of Williams College, gave me a dirty look and said “That’s bull, why isn’t there a Men’s Studies class” and my dad said, “Whatever makes you happy.” Although he continuously made jokes about himself “oppressing” me by opening doors for me or ordering for me at restaurants. When I came back for my sophomore year at Allegheny I noticed that I am reluctant to even say that my minor is Woman’s Studies because I am sick of my own peers here at school let alone my family making me feel like feminism is a dirty word.

         Because the people around me have been making me feel like a lesser person for being a feminist, I chose to focus on Julia Serano’s chapter in her book The Whipping Girl called Bending Over Backwards: Traditional Sexism and Trans-Woman Exclusion Politics because this chapter made me think about feminism more critically and made me feel more secure in who I identify as, a feminist. This chapter focuses on the issue of trans-woman-inclusion in lesbian and woman-only spaces and how many famous feminists have included anti-trans woman remarks in their work. What was so enraging about this chapter was the discussion of discrimination that trans woman have to face from a feminist community that should be opening their arms with love and acceptance. At first I asked myself why a group that I look up to be so exclusive to a sexual minority? The chapter frustrated me because as I was reading it I was starting to question being a feminist. I was thinking, if this is what feminists believe then I want no part of it. Serano offers an explanation for my question by offering the idea that this was a case of cultural transphobia that happened to permeate the lesbian and feminist community. To my dismay Serano continues to explain in this chapter that the discrimination of trans women didn’t end in the past but that it continues to exist today. I am not oblivious to the fact that the trans community faces discrimination but I was completely in shock by those who were perpetrating the discrimination.

            Serano talks about how trans women are dismissed because they are considered “less of a woman”, and that they aren’t considered “real women”. This notion of “realness” and “authenticity” based off of past “maleness” made me sick to my stomach. This idea made me think of the people who preach that only real women have curves. I just wanted to scream! Women can come in all shapes and sizes with varying sexualities, histories, identities, and even genitals.

While trans women are being frowned upon for being men in their past, in my eyes they should be considered special nuggets of knowledge because of what they can potentially bring to the table. They should be included in woman only spaces because I believe their experience of crossing over from male to female is extremely valuable. Serano even talks about her experiences during her physical transition of starting to be recognized as a woman as being appalling. “I was surprised by how often male strangers told me to smile…Needless to say, I found these remarks condescending, as nobody dared to tell me that I should smile for them back when I was perceived as a male.”(322) As someone who identifies as a woman, so much of what it means to be a woman in American society and culture is ingrained in my brain. Serano’s brief explanation of her experience with being told to smile shows that she noticed something teeny tiny about being a woman that I probably would have never picked up.  

Reading Serano’s chapter made me feel put off by feminism because of some feminists discrimination against trans women. This chapter made me realize that feminism as a whole isn’t all hugs and love. I realized that there are many different kinds of feminists and that feminism is something that I have to define for myself without listening to my peers or my family. Because some feminists chose to be mean girls and say “You can’t sit with us” doesn’t mean I have to do the same. Because this chapter made me criticize feminism and brought to my mind how other people perceive me as a feminist I want to show Emma Watson’s speech at the UN as a recently named UN Women Goodwill Ambassador. Her speech is important because she calls for thousands of men and boys to join together in the HeForShe campaign which aims to make males advocates for gender inequality. Her speech as well as her whole campaign is bold, brave, and gave me the courage to stand up and not be afraid to identify as a feminist.